Thursday, August 30, 2018

Let Go Of The Junk

Yesterday's junk.  
It was still hanging around this morning at 4:30 when I couldn't go back to sleep. It kept me awake last night way longer than it should have. 
Boy is there some of that still hanging around in my head.
Yesterday was probably one of the roughest days I have had in awhile. I got in my head. I allowed myself to question the journey I started a year ago.
I completely forgot the healing crisis I went through. I forgot how a year ago I could barely get out of bed. That I napped in the car while Cassidy did gymnastics for 2.5 hours two nights a week and still went to bed at 8:30... and woke up exhausted every morning for the next 6 months-and now I coach 4 classes a week instead of napping in the car.

I forgot how good I feel on the inside, and that what I have been doing has been working- even if no one sees an outward transformation. 
I forgot about the first time this summer I could wear my wedding rings during the day and all day because I no longer had massive inflammation in my body. 
I forgot all of that because momentarily I allowed myself to forget how far I had come, simply because I wasn't meeting expectations someone else had set for me. I forgot all of that because a number on a box that measured my gravitational pull to the earth didn't change. Even though I was making my best attempts at diet and exercising 3-5 days a week. I allowed myself to feel less than. I then allowed myself to throw a pity party all day. I probably lost 2 pounds in water weight in tears. 
Why? Why did I do it? I honestly can't answer that question. I just know I have to trust that I know my body, and that it has been through so much in nearly 16 years. and even 1 year of healing isn't probably enough. That there is still internal work going on, and I have to trust that, and fuel my body to the very best of my ability, and listen to what it's telling me it needs. And I have to trust that it's all a part of the plan. 
So sweet friends- let go of yesterday's junk. I am.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

When You Struggle To Find Your Tribe

We've all seen the saying lately- "Find your tribe, and love them hard."  I think its something we all desire- a group of people you would do anything for- who will help you with your struggles, strive for better things with, and in return you do the same.  It's the way life should be, right?  We should have this band of brothers (or sisters) that would would through fire or over coals to ensure you are okay.

For some of us though, the struggle to find that group of people is, well, real. Really.  We want that group of people, we crave it.  But it seems every time we put ourselves out there, hurt ensues.  Can you tell I am speaking from the heart here?

I only speak from my perspective here- but it's a struggle that I have had for many years.  I have anguished over it, been bitter about it, been depressed about it.  It wasn't until a year ago that I truly accepted that the tribe I was trying to insert myself into wasn't receptive to me.  That one was hard.   I felt a lot of anger over it.

But God, in his infinite mercy and grace, has slowly started putting me into new positions, groups, and challenging roles in life- and I think I am finally starting to find my groove.  My tribe.  I celebrate new friendships and bonds over like mindedness, health goals, desires, attitudes- and even in the midst of those things there is a love of Christ.  I am amazed that God has graciously put new people in my path once I let go of the ones that weren't for me anyway.

But God.

How many times do I hold onto these people and relationships that are seriously toxic to my walk, but I crave acceptance so much that I still cling to hope that a group or person will bring me into the fold?  How many times have I been jealous of situations, or friendships or relationships that I see others sharing in? If I speak honestly, there is a great amount of time that I do these things.  We waste so much time- time and energy that could be used so much more positively in this world if we would just allow time and opportunity to be used.

I want to be used up for God.  I want to be in groups of people who have a like minded goal in this.  That they honor and glorify God in the day to day.  I am so excited that I am finally accomplishing this.  My heart is happy in the times I get to share in these new ways and places.  I go to bed feeling fulfilled, and appreciated.  It's been so long since I have felt that way.

Do something for me today.  Take time to let your tribe know they are appreciated.  You will lose your band of brothers and sisters slowly if you take, and never feed back in, and never let them know you are thankful they are there.

Look for others who might be a good fit for your tribe.  If you have struggled here- you know how it has felt to be left out, to be hurt, to feel like you are walking this world all alone.  Be looking for those people.  They need a tribe.  They need to hear someone cares- they need to know they aren't alone.  They need a place to let go and be themselves- not the fake selves they are being to fit in somewhere they don't belong.

And finally- if you are still looking.  Here is some advice.  Stop being someone you aren't in the hopes that some group of people are going to want you.  It's not worth it.  I promise.  You are giving up a part of your peace for nothing- because once you are yourself you will find yourself on the outside again- and hurt again.  Look for genuine people.  They are truly still out there.  I promise.  Never give up that search.  There are groups of people who are really like you- and see life in the unique way you do- and they are searching for someone to share this journey too.  Embrace the journey- find your tribe, and never stop looking and growing.  Because once you find that tribe, they will celebrate your journey and growth.

To everyone in the last year that has embraced this craziness we as a family call life- Thank You.  I hope we are a positive part of your world- I hope we inspire you to see things differently and love the life you have.  I pray that you see a little bit of God in our world.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Doing Dave Ramsey- Our Way!

Every family at some point gets to that place where their budget gets wonky... and you have to reign that bad boy back in.  I faced that place this month.  Christmas was looming... we were spending too freely- and I had to figure out what was going on with our money!

I was using The Happy Planner Budget Extension Pack.... and guys... I really really REALLY wanted to love it.  I really did.  But I couldn't implement it the way I felt that I needed to manage our money. And I wasn't finding the tools I desperately needed to make that possible.

I love Dave Ramsey. His methods are amazing.  But for me, as many places I go I don't feel safe carrying around money in envelopes for me to put down and forget to pick back up.  I hate the thought of losing my entire month's worth of money... so ...

I bought a Martha Stewart Arc cover from Staples, as well as some page protectors and pocket dividers, because lets face it, if you are going to do it, it might as well be pretty.  So after I chose a cover, I started creating the documents I needed in my binder.  First, I needed a master list of my bills with account numbers in the front.  Done.  Then, I needed to create categories of where all my bills went and their categories.  For example, the one main heading of Utilities holds the electric bill, water bill, cable bill, etc.  For our family, we have 9 categories.  Next, I created a sheet with all my categories and what fell in those- and assigned an icon stamp for each.

Still with me?  Okay... so am I the only one who hates the small check book register that comes with checks?  I hate it.  It's small.  And I had no way to include my stamp category stuff.  So, of course I created something different.  I created a check book register that includes a column for the category stamps!! Why is this what I needed? Well let me show you! 

See that budget category column?  Thats where a stamp goes from the master list shown above.  So as I am keeping track of our checkbook, I also have a visual of how much spending is going on in each category.  Once I have balanced all that and tabulated, I then check off from the register and add my expenditures to what would normally be on the outside of the cash envelopes, but I have included here in my binder.

This helps me know when I am out of money in that particular category, so I know to stop spending!! It's something I will do before I go to bed each night if I have been out and about.  

I also have this sheet in my binder.  This sheet I used a couple of years ago before I tried the MAMBI budget extension.  This sheet was amazing at keeping me in sync with how I needed to allocate our money.  Ms. Wenduh has some amazing free printable on her blog.  She also sells planner stickers.  Love her stuff! 

And that is how we plan on getting back on track.  Why wait until the first of the year? Now is the time to make your money work for you!  It is good to start saving money, or getting out of debt.  I feel driven like never before to make our money work hard for us.  

I hope this inspires you to take your money captive and do the right stuff with it!! 

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Becoming A Plexus Ambassador

This week, we announced to our family and friends that we had made the decision to become plexus ambassadors.  We have been using the products for nearly a month, and the changes we were starting to see and feel were too amazing to not jump on and share.

I did an eleven minute Facebook live to announce it.  I was so stinking nervous!  I am not good at looking at myself while I talk.  I am totally okay with others looking at me... but having to look at myself is nerve racking!  I truly believe the products are changing my life, and in turn changing my family's life as well!


I feel incredibly blessed to have found a product that will change everything for me.  I was so hard on my body for so long, pushing through some pretty difficult circumstances and demanding a lot from my body.  Honestly, I was brutal to all my body systems by asking so much from it.  I know now why weight loss has been such a struggle for the last 6 years.  I want to be a better steward of what God has given me... and He only gives me one body to dwell on this earth in.  The best way I can honor and glorify Him is to be the best version of me I can be!  I truly believe Plexus is going to help me accomplish that goal.  

So, if you are interested, click on the black image above, and watch what I have to say about Plexus and how it is helping my body.  

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Preparing for 2017-2018 School Year

Good Morning!

I have been slowly trying to prepare myself for the inevitability of the school year starting... but I can't seem to quite get prepared.  I have my fabulous Teacher Planner from Me and My Big Ideas ... but I just can't get motivated to think about school starting up!

It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that we spent all of May and June working on Beauty and the Beast Jr, or that all of July has been helping my oldest paint lockers to look like books for a paid project could it? but, I digress.

The one thing the Happy Planner Teacher Edition does not have is a monthly objectives page.  I really needed this this year because we are going more Charlotte Mason and all my kids are doing the same science and Bible.  So, in order to that, I need a place I can coordinate their chapters.  I created a printable for this!  

This now gives me a great place to have an "At A Glance" view of what I want to accomplish throughout the school year.  From the Teacher Add-On pack, I used the volunteer sheet, but on the back there was a checklist sheet, and I didn't want checklists at the beginning, so I glued it to the back of that and then used Washi Tape to keep it solidly together.  Now, all my Checklists are in the back where they belong and I don't have a random one up front.

Enjoy your free printable, and until next time...
Happy Planning & Happy Homeschooling!